A couple years ago, Meredith and I began talking about ways to motivate one another to write. We both love to read and harbor unspoken dreams of publishing books that might inspire others one day. However, we realize that writers are a dime and dozen, and good writers are the rarest of finds. So, we inaugurated this blog in an effort to contribute meaningful thoughts in the world, as well as sharpen our writing skills.

This blog is also a testament to our friendship. Allow me to explain…

Through Painted Deserts is a book Donald Miller wrote about his journey into himself— leaving home, questioning religion, seeing splendor in unexpected places, building friendships, and recognizing the faithfulness and magnificence of God in creation. During his roadtrip, Miller’s appreciation of the stars was secondary only to one thing… friendship.

On the last night of Miller’s pilgrimage, he reflects upon the experience alongside his buddy Paul. Miller pondered aloud upon the seamless magnitude of God all around them. How “the stars were created to dazzle us [… and] how God showed up when we needed Him to show up, and how good it was to know each other. It occurred to me then, and I said it to Paul, that there is something God made that is better than starlight. What is it? He asked me. It’s you, man, I said. Me? He asked. You, I said, you know, friends, people, it’s beautiful, really, that we don’t have to be alone. I appreciate you, I told him.” [bold emphasis added]

This quote is the namesake for this blog, on purpose.

My young adult life has been filled with years, moments and seasons of journeys. Literal trips that afforded me the opportunity to know myself or someone else better. Figurative paths that have led me to question any number of things— myself, God, the past, family, friends, and the future. Like Miller, my life journeys have helped me recognize the colossal beauty and value of friendship.

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I’ll start by telling you a little bit about my friend Meredith, a significant starlight in my life. Meredith and I have long agreed with St. Irenaeus who said, “the glory of God is man fully alive.” Meaning, we exhibit the brilliant wonder of the Lord when live in a way that makes us feel most awake in the world (and if we’re honest with ourselves, too few of us permit our deepest hopes, dreams, and giftings to thrive). Meredith is unabashedly alive. Sure, she’s not flawless in this endeavor, but she’s better than most. And the thing I love most about Meredith is that she requires this type of vivid wakefulness from others. She forces me to exercise my talents and recognize my fears, so that I live… really live. To be fully alive is a brave and beautiful way of existing because it infectiously demands that others live that way as well.

Another friend I am happy to describe is Erin. On my worst days I crave the company of few. Generally speaking, I’m not a moody person, but there are days that get the best of even me. And on those days I call Erin. Erin whom I can sit next to in silence and know that I am accepted and loved. Erin knows all my ugly, dark places… and yet loves me fiercely. I find beauty in that.

My sisters and my brothers are my sanity and strength in moments where I need them most… and least. Their love, laughter and ridicule knows no end. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Last week, I was on the phone with Sarah, a friend who seems to face unending hurdles these days. What amazes me is how she clears each one. Sometimes Sarah initiates soul-searching and achieves uncharacteristically astute conclusions that challenge everything inside me. For example, she described to me her recent determination to forgive. She claims, if I believe God is forgiving, but don’t practice that grace in my darkest days, then do I really believe that about His character? And can I teach His mercy to my daughter if I don’t show forgiveness in my own life? Sarah’s willingness to share her vulnerable places with me is stunning. She teaches me about the person I want to be.

Though I met them in completely different life seasons, my friends Betsy and Kelly are two of the wisest and most steadfast friends I’ve made… or ever will know on this earth. They have a calmness in their manner of speaking and being that’s traceable to their innermost places. Both are imbued with devoted hearts, minds of sound judgment, souls of peace, and they extend this quiet strength to others. Regularly.

I have a whole group of graduate school friends that have enriched my life in every way. On my worst day, Anna has been known to brighten my heartache with a thoughtful, gourmet muffin. My friend Rachel has made her home my second home in Kentucky. Rosalie, Kelley and Ofelia are my gurus of laughter. Laura Beth has taken me under her wing and helped me believe in my own intelligence. And my dear Katie Beth is one of the most considerate people alive. I am surrounded by beauty in friendship.

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Paul eventually responds to Miller’s conclusion about beautiful friendships.
“We’re going to be best friends, you realize that, Paul said. I hadn’t realized it, to be honest. Paul is a better guy than I...  It’s great when somebody who is better than you in all those ways that don’t matter but always matter lets you be an equal.” Lets you be an equal, a friend, one who is deeply known and loved anyways.

That is better than starlight.