I promised Laura Beth a light-hearted post. Hopefully, this will meet the outlined requirement.

I've been working on a simple mid-term question for the past 5 hours. Would you like to know how much of that time was spent in concentrated thought? PERHAPS a solid 45 minutes total. Yep, I'm a piddler from way back [piddle: (verb) to dawdle; to spend time in an aimless or wasteful manner].

So, I pose this question today... what type of graduate students are you? Are you a Kudak Extaordinaire? An Oreo Inhaler? A Delirious Doctorate? A Piddle McPiddleson? A Goalie Gertrude? A Scholastic Socialite?
Since I'm making this shit up as I go, allow me to define each archetype for you.

A person who actually ENJOYS studying, learning, and research is a Kudak Extraordinaire. Sometimes this type of graduate student is radically effective in his/her academic efforts. Other times, they accomplish little, but enjoy the experience all the same.

Are you a person who requires sustenance or reward in order to study? Do you need a soda? A coffee? Twizzlers? Too many oreos to count? Do you bring m&ms to the library and reward yourself as you accomplish your scholastic goals? If any of the this describes you, consider yourself an Oreo Inhaler.

Delirious doctorates are students with viscious attention to details and a relentless research tenacity. These individuals make tremendous study partners because of their steadfast motivation and noteworthy execution of study goals. It should be noted, however, that one common side-effect of this stringent attentiveness to research is delirium (which takes a variety of forms, see photo).

Per my original confession, I have a special attachment to the next category. Those individuals who find ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to distract them while they study are Piddle McPiddlesons. They aren't always lazy (though movie watching or nap time are not outside the realm of possibility). These grad students often spend hours cleaning, doing laundry, running errands, facebooking, or going to the gym in lieu of studying.

Some students set strict goals that must be adequately accomplished before playtime is allowed. Naturally, these academics are type A personalities and make lists and set time limits to help them stay on task. Remaining research-focused is of ultimate concern to these Goalie Gertrudes.

Last, but not least, are the Scholastic Socialites. We all know them, they're the friend who uses "precious" study time to talk on the phone, text anyone who will respond, tweet purposeless thoughts, myspace stalk high school acquintances, and facebook incessantly. These individuals do not disengage from technology under any study circumstance.

Appropriately enough, I argue that most graduate students are a robust combination of one or more of the above study categories [robust: (adjective) stout; hardy; an academic term that greatly irritates me].

Despite my years of despicable study habits, I long to believe the supportive words of my stepmom, Lori, who wrote: "I know from years of watching you that you can 'get er done'!"