“I ain’t what I ought to be, and I ain’t what I’m going to be. But I ain’t what I was!”

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I’ve been thinking a lot about dealing with change, about endings and beginnings.  These thoughts have been growing as I cross the one year mark at my not-so-new job.  One calendar year ago, I moved.  I started a new job, a new office, a new house, a new church, and attempted to develop new friendships.  Needless to say, it was a lot of change.

In the past few months, I’ve experienced further changes—some that shook me to the core.  Change is an inevitable part of life, but it’s interesting how dealing with it doesn’t come naturally or easily.  Ever think about that? How change is a natural part of life, yet it feels horribly unnatural?

Last year, Meredith read a book called Transitions and raved about it.  With a twisted arm, I finally picked up the book and quite literally hated it…. until chapter five.

In Transitions, the author argues that change and transition are distinct notions.  For instance, moving to a new country, getting married, or adopting a baby—all of these are examples of change.  Transition, however, entails coping with the feelings, new roles, changed identity, and fresh relationships. Bridges (2004) explains that change “can take place in a moment” but transition lingers because it includes “the old habits and behaviors and practices that made you feel like yourself.”

It’s an interesting idea, differentiating between change and transition.  I think I like the demarcation because it gives me time to sort through countless thoughts and emotions.  Transitions lead us all to confront endings and new beginnings with thoughtfulness.  Bridges claims that “endings must be dealt with if we are to move on to whatever comes next in our lives.”  It makes sense, this attention to finality. Endings can't be bypassed, they must be confronted.

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I like Bridges’ focus on endings.  There’s a gut-wrenching honesty to it. And yet there’s also hopefulness, that with endings comes the promise of a beginning.  “We have it backwards,” writes Bridges, “endings are the first, not the last, act of the play.”
Endings precede all new things.

 “To make an end is to make a beginning.”
- T.S. Eliot