The other day, I was telling my friend Meredith about some interesting texts I'd received and she mused, "sometimes I wish text messaging had never been invented." Which got me to thinking: What are the worst inventions of all time? Well, for what it's worth, here's my list of the top 10 worst modern inventions.

10. The Twilight Series (via Erin Hightower)
Who cares about vampires who fly around on tall trees? How is being in love with a vampire and isolating yourself as a teenage girl a good plot or positive example for teens? This craze both puzzles and irritates me.



9. Searching-For-True-Love Reality Shows
Reality TV is shameless. Shows that broadcast love-starved men and women looking for "true love" in all the wrong places is not quality entertainment. Bachelor, Bachelorette, Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and Temptation Island are examples of reality TV foolishness that I will judge anyone for watching.

8. Spam
What is the deal with spam? Do you know anyone who enjoys canned mean? I'd like to meet someone who actually buys and eats canned meat. One of my friends recently asked, why do we call unwanted e-mails spam. I believe the connection is obvious; unwanted e-mails live up to their namesake.

7. Emoticons
Though I've been known to fall victim to the use of emoticons, I willfully choose to dislike them-- out of principle. Often, I determine the future potential of a friendship or romance based on one's use of emoticons (or hopefully lack thereof). One writer took a stance on emoticons that I can get behind, "I loathe them in all their forms. I see a face at the end of a sentence, I start lopping off IQ and attractiveness points for the person who wrote it." - Mary Elizabeth Williams

6. Choker necklaces
Why were those ever cool? I used to love wearing choker necklaces in junior high. Now just the memory of a choker necklace makes me feel like I'm being strangled.





5. Fruitcake (via Ofelia Littrell)
I can't say that I've ever partaken of the supposed deliciousness that is fruitcake, but I intend to continue with that life-saving strategy. Fruitcake is an offensive use of the word cake.

4. Skinny Leg Jeans... FOR MEN
To be honest, I'm not a supporter of the skinny leg pant under any circumstance. However, since I am only mildly fashionable, my opinion on the matter doesn't bear much weight. I am, on the other hand, a faithful observer of men (and male fashion). I adamantly declare that skinny leg jeans are not attractive on guys! Do you hear me men? Stop wearing them. They don't accentuate your business in all the right places. They are emasculating and deem you perfectly unattractive.

3. Stilettos
I have a love/hate relationship with stilettos; I don't know a woman who doesn't. Thong underwear falls into the same category.





2. The Atomic Bomb
In the end, are we so smart for making weapons that can easily wipe out humanity as we know it? Weapons of mass destruction provide no benefit and summon fear and dispute in our fragile world. Armageddon-inducing weapons grab a permanent top spot on the list of top worst inventions.
Sidenote: Obviously, all weapons of mass destruction deserve the #1 place, but I'm attempting originality here.

1. Romance Texting
I don't hate all texting. I'm an avid texter. Texting is perfect for communicating a wide variety of information. And yet, there remain certain topics that should be left for actual conversation (e.g., the death of a loved one, news of a promotion, and of course... romance). Surprisingly, however, I find that many in my generation don't understand this. Instead, texting is used as a legitimate form of relationship development. Because of this tendency, I claim romance texting as the worst invention in modern history. Joke and flirt until your heart's content, but advance the relationship with actual words.

Honorable Mentions for Other Horrific Inventions:
* Cable News Channels (via Steve Aldrich)
* iPhone fingers to keep your phone smudge-free (via Fox News). I believe iFingers is a glorified label for finger condoms. For more details go to phonefingers.com
* Paper Weights. Who uses those? And if you do, where do you work? In the middle of a wind tunnel?
* Chia Pets (via Anna Kudak)- they're barely entertaining and certainly NOT adorable.
* Clap On/Off Lights (via Ofelia Littrell)- I believe I could drive down to the local retirement center and find a few senior citizens who would vehemently argue the utility of this invention.
* Snuggies for Dogs (via Time Magazine). Perhaps snuggies in general?
* Black Licorice (via Ofelia Littrell)
* Pedal-powered wheelchairs sound like the cruelest joke ever, but they're real (via Fox News)