So far I'm convinced that the first phase of heartache is centered upon dealing with the physical stuff going on inside your body. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs confirms my conclusion that physicality must be phase one, since our basic human needs must be met before we can deal with emotional or actualization needs.

Physical Problem 1: Actual Heartache
Heartache is a real thing. In fact, numerous research studies link broken hearts to increased vulnerability and even fatality. Something physically occurs in the body, the heart quite literally ACHES. There's a sense that your entire heart cavity is sinking in upon itself.

Sound dramatic? Good.... because a broken heart feels dramatic. It's so real and all-encompassing. Sometimes it's hard to breathe. And no amount of sleep, chest massaging, or warm baths will assuage the ache. My current hope is--- and popular opinion claims--- that time can (and will) lessen the aching in my heart.

Okay, so I've established that there's a physicality to the concept "broken heart." Sadly, that's not the only physical condition that arises in the aftermath of a meaningful breakup. There's also leaking, eating, and thinking issues. I'll begin with tears... since that's where every heartbreak story begins.

Physical Problem 2: The Waterworks
If you know me at all, you know these things: (1) I have a leaky right eye that constantly drips tears and (2) I rarely cry about my feelings or others, since I mostly lack the empathy-gene. Interestingly, being in love with someone drastically altered my #2 tendency. Over the past year and a half, I have become a regular crier.... crying about hurt feelings, frustrations, good moments, misunderstandings, sweet comments, etc.

Breaking up with someone you truly love does something to your tear ducts. For example, my already overworked eye sockets (recall my leaky eye) turned into tear ducts on steroids. I've cried every single day from both eyes, which is when you know it's serious tears for me. And the smallest thing will trigger waterworks: smelling his old clothes, seeing his favorite soda in my fridge, every sad love song created to date, hearing from him, not hearing from him, a picture of us close and happy, remembering plans we've made for an upcoming trip or concert, etc. Everything torments my aching heart and apparently my body feels the only solution is to create salty little tears. I've found being in public is a risky endeavor since crying (at some point) is inevitable.

Physical Problem 3: Not Eating
After my recent breakup, I think it took me 2 full days to remember to eat food. And I didn't do it to be dramatic (this can be confirmed by the fact that I have no one to put on airs for, as I live a nearly reclusive existence these days). Instead, the struggle to eat is directly related to the surmounting heartache. My heart hurt so badly that other bodily senses were hindered. Simply put, my hunger pangs couldn't register because of the broken-heart-syndrome. Medical research confirms this experience--- that the body can only interpret one pain at a time; the brain is forced to rotate it's recognition of distinct wounds in a medical emergency. Well, in my heart emergency, my brain seemed unable to register my need for food. After almost a week, I still think I've only eaten one normal-portion meal. (The plus to this, of course, is that I've dropped about 4 pounds in 6 days).

Physical Problem 4: Thinking Straight
After a breakup, your mind is consumed with 1,000,000,000,000,000 thoughts. Thoughts about what you said, what you didn't say, and what you should've said. And then you run through that same progression of thoughts, except this time it's about what your relationship partner said, didn't say, etc. Thoughts about what was, what is, and what could be consume your mind. Thoughts of regret. Thoughts of weakness. Mental attempts at peace. Hopes for healing.

At first I tried to focus on work. Story short: I've failed. Next I tried funneling my anxiety into exercise. Day one I was pouring sweat on the StairMaster while simultaneously streaming tears down both cheeks (thankfully other gym goers thought all salty-liquid was sweat). Workout two was spin class in a dark room, a better decision via low lighting. Workout three was swimming laps. I think I’ve found a winner (tears aren’t noticeable in water).

I mostly stick to long walks with my dog. These are peaceful and there are no onlookers. I can walk leisurely and replay every second of our last fight until I'm heartsick all over again. (This tendency is what makes being a woman unenviable.)

Journaling, too, must be mentioned as a thought-regulator. Truth be told, I've become an intermittent journaler in recent years, but any negative life experience draws me back to those familiar pages. So I write out thoughts, scribe song lyrics, and send up prayers to a listening Father.

Oh and my poor friends and family! They are so good to me. Calling regularly to let me work through my jumbled thoughts aloud. This simple act is easily my greatest comfort right now.

Dealing with the Physical Stuff: A Summary
I know this post doesn't parallel everyone's physical problems. I've had friends share broken-heart stories that led to sleeplessness, vomiting, and other bodily responses to heartache. Luckily, my break-up conversation led to only four distinct physical manifestations, each unique in their ability to summon pain but connected at their core.

It is my belief that these physical problems will not last forever.
Little by little, the hunger pangs are surfacing. With each passing day, I'm able to organize my thoughts a little better. Though tears are still plentiful, the ache that taints my very existence may one day fade.