I'm the one who said the breakup words, even though I view the actual decision as mutual.  I'm the one who whispered the concluding words we both needed....

After the breakup, I spent the first three weeks fixated on rejection.   I was suffocated by it.  I felt rejected because the man I chose to love didn't want to keep me in his life.  He loved me, then loved me not.

It's true, I was so focused on thoughts of rejection that the sentiment haunted me.  In an effort to get me thinking rightly, one friend told me my mantra should be "Released not rejected" (and another told me to take it a step further and believe "Rescued not rejected").  Those breath prayers* paved the way for me to move past rejection into responsibility.

What I'm saying is, as time passed and God drew nearer, my head began to clear.  I could finally see that what I'd done was exactly that... something I had done.  I thought the thoughts, I said the words.  I wasn't rejected, I was rejecting.  I did it. I made a tough choice (to breakup with someone I loved) because I wanted better for myself.

Sadly, it took me three whole weeks to be able to see past the feelings of rejection, pain, hurt, and anger.  But eventually, I did come to a place where I could take responsibility.  I ended a relationship that was good, but not something worth clinging to for the long haul.  Rejection wasn't (and isn't) the biggest truth.  There are truer things to focus on instead.  For example....
-  I ended the relationship because I could not see a beautiful future there.
-  The whole thing has turned my world upside down, for a while, but things won't remain topsy turvy.
-  God is good and heals deep wounds.  He is doing this in my life!
-  One shouldn't regret good decisions, even if they were hard to make.

So, after taking time to mourn the (loss of the) relationship.  And after working through hurt feelings and resentment, I'm here to tell you that R does not stand for Rejection.

R is for Responsibility.


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* Breath prayers are short 2-8 syllable prayers.  They're intentionally very short so that you can pray your chosen thought while you breathe in or out.  Examples of breath prayers are: "Jesus be near,"  "I need strength today," "Released not rejected," or "Teach me gratitude."

Breath prayers are used by believers as a reminder of their need for Christ.  Also, breath prayers follow Paul's exhort to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).